Now What?

When I went to bed last Tuesday night, things were not looking good for my presidential candidate of choice. By the time I woke up (quite early, by the way), it was over. The voters had made a clear choice. I was, and still am, utterly disappointed. As the reality of it set in, my gut reaction was a desire to confront Trump voters with words similar to the clip below.

Fortunately, my intrusive thoughts remained just thoughts (for the most part), and I started asking myself, "What now?" The first thing I decided was that I need to have hope. Here is what I hope: I hope that I am wrong. I don't for a second believe that I am wrong about Donald Trump's lack of character or even decency, but I do hope that I am wrong about some of the policies he says he will put in place.

I hope that I am wrong about his tariffs resulting in higher costs for consumer goods, making it even harder for people to provide for their families.

I hope that I am wrong about his planned mass deportations leading to both a humanitarian and economic crisis, especially in areas like agriculture and construction.

I hope that I am wrong about him abandoning Ukraine and allowing Putin's desire to rebuild the Soviet Empire to go unchecked or drawing us into a war to defend our NATO allies against him.

I hope that I am wrong about our country becoming less safe for people of color because white supremacists believe they have an ally in the White House.

I hope that I am wrong about him putting his cronies in positions of power and influence, leading to further corruption of our institutions.

I hope that I am wrong about his apparent disinterest in crafting sensible and compassionate positions on abortion, which could result in both higher abortion rates and diminished health care for women.

I truly hope that I am wrong, and if proven so, I hope that I will have the humility to admit it.

Given the results of the election, despite my rantings, it seems pretty clear that my personal impact on the public at large is nonexistent. So the next thing I decided was that I need to try to make my corner of the world a little bit better.

I have a confession to make. I have never been very community-minded. For one thing, I haven’t felt like I fit into my community. I assume that people think of me as an outsider, and so I have acted like one. Since COVID, I have pretty much worked from home, and this has served to help me isolate myself even more. I have become pretty comfortable just worrying about myself and my own family. This needs to change.

I have found a volunteer position that I think will both challenge me and give me an opportunity to make a positive difference for others. I am looking for opportunities to advocate for causes that I believe in and think I can make a difference in. I am even considering trying out for a local theater group so that I can meet more people who live near me. There is so much that I cannot control, but hopefully, my disappointment in recent events will result in something positive that will last for more than four years.

Decision 2024

 In 1984, I cast my first presidential vote for Ronald Reagan. In the elections that followed, I voted for, in order: George H. W. Bush (twice), Bob Dole, George W. Bush (twice), John McCain, and Mitt Romney. Are you sensing a pattern? Looking back, I don’t regret any of my choices. Based on the information I had available to me, and even with the clarity of history, I am satisfied with the choices I made. My GOP voting streak ended in 2016.

As GOP candidates began their runs for the White House in 2015, I put myself firmly in the “never Trump” camp. I watched in disbelief as Donald Trump’s support started to swell and he began to take control of the primaries. I was especially dismayed to see that he was being endorsed by a number of Evangelical leaders while there were still viable and, in my opinion, more appealing candidates. I was baffled as to how these “men of God” could support a man whose life and rhetoric were so clearly the antithesis of the “Christian values” they claimed to hold dear. To make matters worse, the Democrats basically force-fed the country their party’s nominee, a candidate who, in my opinion, was just as bad.

I will acknowledge that, as the election approached, I considered voting for Trump. I considered him to be a man of low character and integrity, but I thought his administration’s policies would align with my preferences more than those of the other candidate. The straw that broke the camel’s back for me was the “Grab them by the p***y” recording. His bragging about sexual assault and his utter lack of contriteness were, in my mind, beyond offensive. He lacked the bare minimum of moral qualifications to be president. What dismayed me just as much were the excuses being made by conservative Christians on his behalf. This is the same crowd that had gone after Bill Clinton with a vengeance under the banner of “Character Counts.” It was such a grotesque display of hypocrisy that it might have been comical if it weren't so infuriating. At that point, my conscience would not allow me to vote for either candidate, and I voted for a third-party candidate.

What happened during Trump’s four years as president did nothing to dissuade me from my previous evaluation of him as a non-viable choice for my vote. I don’t have the time here to do a deep dive on specific policies or actions. I will say that most things I viewed as positive policy-wise would have been carried out by any of the GOP presidential candidates. (For those who love to talk about judicial appointments, particularly the Supreme Court, the person most responsible for that happening is Mitch McConnell.) That which was distinctly Trumpian was not good. Examples include the revolving door of officials, advisors, and aides in and out of the White House and the vitriol aimed at those who left. His seeming admiration and fascination with authoritarian leaders of other nations, his tolerance of anyone who appeared to support him no matter how racist they might be (i.e., the Proud Boys), and his constant paranoia that he spread to his followers were all concerning. As the 2020 election approached, I remained firm in my conviction that voting for this man would violate my core values. I had serious misgivings about the new Democratic nominee (though not as many as for the previous one), so once again, I voted for a third-party candidate.

The events after the election confirmed my worst fears about Trump. His baseless and repeated accusations of widespread voter fraud fomented a sense of betrayal and anger among his followers,

leading to threats of violence against election officials and lawmakers in Arizona and Georgia. He tried to pressure Vice President Pence to spurn his constitutional duty in order to thwart the will of the people and the law of the land. All of this culminated in the January 6th attack on the Capitol. He sat and watched for hours as the crowd he incited violently sought to prevent Congress from doing what the Constitution instructs them to do—all in the name of Trump.

In the almost four years since that day, Trump has continued to deal in lies and narcissism. He has been found legally liable for sexual assault and culpable for defamation of character against his accuser. He has also been found legally liable for fraud and guilty by a jury on 34 felony counts related to paying off a porn star with campaign funds. He has indicated that he will attempt to use the power of his office and the justice system to exact revenge on his political foes. He has stated that he would not keep our NATO commitments if certain countries were attacked. He is uniquely unqualified to serve (a word that I am convinced has no meaning to him) as our president.

Once again, the Democrats have provided us with a candidate with whom I have serious misgivings. I confess that as election day gets closer, my hesitations are not being quelled. I do not live in a battleground state, so it would be easy for me to do what I have done in the past two elections. I just don’t feel that this time, simply voting for a third party is making a strong enough statement. This cannot continue, and while my small voice can only be heard by a very few, I believe I need to use it the best way I know how. Yesterday, I placed my presidential vote for Kamala Harris. I do not expect to agree with all or even most of her policies should she win, but I do believe that a Harris administration will seek to support and defend the Constitution more than a Trump administration would. I believe that Kamala Harris is more likely to seek to rebuild confidence in our government and institutions rather than tear them down for self-serving purposes, unlike Donald Trump. My hope is that our country can become a place where we look to understand, work with, and compromise with those with whom we disagree for the good of the country, rather than a place where we demonize and denigrate those across the aisle. Given our current choices, I believe that Kamala Harris gives us the best chance for that to happen. I have made my choice and cast my vote. My conscience is clear.

What I Miss About My Mom

Today would have been my mom's 86th birthday. Five years ago she passed away. Sometimes I can't believe it has been that long and other times it feels like she has been away forever. I have always believed that when you love somebody you never lose them. You will always have them in your memories. But even with my memories of her firmly in hand there isn't a day that goes by when I don't miss her. Below is some of what I miss the most:


Her sandwiches (Perfection between two slices of bread)

Watching her with my kids.

Getting the occasional old school, snail mail letter from her ( She never did learn how to use email)

Seeing how she reached out and ministered to people who could be difficult or overlooked.

Christmas breakfast at her house.

The way her face would scrunch up out of nowhere when she started to cry.

Knowing that if I was watching a Giants game she was probably watching it too.

In her last couple of years, hearing her tell same story she told yesterday or even a couple hours ago.

Her goody drawer. (It was for the kids but I liked it too)

How she took care of dad (before and after his illness)

Knowing she was praying for me.

Being able to call her if I wanted or needed to.

The way she would laugh at herself.

Playing cards with her and dad.

Having her visit and hating to see her go back home.

Her quiet adventurousness.

Her wise advice.

Her gentle spirit paired with a powerful faith

Her presence.

Top 10 Christmas Movie #1: It's a Wonderful Life

Some of the movies on this list were instant hits. Home Alone, White Christmas, and Miracle on 34th Street were among the highest grossing movies the years they were released. Others like A Christmas Story and Planes, Trains and Automobiles took some time to find their audience and take their place among the classics. It's a Wonderful Life is considered  to be not only a classic feel good Christmas movie but is widely regarded as one of the greatest films ever made (#20 on the American Film Institutes top 100 movies). But, when it was released in 1946 it was a box office flop and looked to be destined for obscurity. 

Fate had a different plan. A clerical error caused the movie's copyright to lapse which made it inexpensive for local televisions stations to broadcast, This resulted in stations airing it repeatedly especially during the holiday season and bringing the movie back into the public's consciousness. What they discovered was not a corny, lighthearted fluff piece but rather a brilliantly written and  acted film that goes to some pretty dark places to tell an ultimately inspirational story.

The movie starts with Angel Second Class, Clarence (played by Henry Travers) being assigned to help George Bailey (played by Jimmy Stewart) on Christmas Eve. George is contemplating ending his life and it will be Clarence's job to restore his hope. To prepare he is given an overview of George's life. He sees events like a young George saving his brother from drowning and stopping the local druggist from accidentally poisoning a child. He watches as George sees his dreams of travel and achieving great things continually being thwarted usually because he has sacrificed his own interests to help somebody else. 

Even though he has set aside his dreams he has his wife Mary (played by Donna Reed) and children who he loves. He is, if not completely satisfied, content until the fateful Christmas Eve. Suddenly, through no fault of his own the life that he has built and the family he loves appears to be in danger of collapse. The dreams he never achieved seem to mock him as irreversible failures. His past is a bad joke and his future appears to be a nightmare. The two clips below take place just as George is hitting rock bottom. (By the way, Jimmy Stewart's acting in this scene is amazing)

Soon after this scene George and Clarence finally meet in person. George tells him that everyone would be better off if he had never been born. Clarence decides that his best chance at helping George is to show him what the world would be like if he had never existed. What follows is a nightmare. George gets to see how he touched not just the lives of his friends and family but how his absence had effects far beyond what he could have imagined. Clarence sums it up this way, "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?" George also also learns that the help he has given to others will be returned in kind. As Clarence reminds him at the end, "No man is a failure who has friends".

I like all of the movies on this list. They are all entertaining. They have made me laugh and in some cases have made me cry. They have all contributed to what makes this time of year so much fun. This film though is the only one to have actually had an impact on me. I remember stumbling across it one afternoon on TV. I think I was about 12 or 13 years old. I was struck by the message of the film. After watching it I wanted to be George Bailey. I wanted to be the guy that had that kind of effect on other people. This movie made me want to be a better person. How many movies can you say that about?

There is no question in my mind that this is the greatest Christmas movie of them all. In fact I will fight you on this. (So much for being a better person) If you haven't seen it you need to fix that soon. And if you don't tear up when Harry says, "To my big brother George. The richest man in town", well you need to get an x-ray to make sure you have a heart.

Merry Christmas!

Top 10 Christmas Movies #2: White Christmas

Andy Bauer weigh in on movie #2 on our list.

I’ve written about White Christmas in this space a couple of times, and truth be told, could probably fill a substantial volume writing about all it’s awesome sauce.  It’s one of those movies I’ve seen so many times I don’t even really pay attention to the plot anymore.  I spend my time looking in the background for all the little things I missed on the previous 100 viewings.  And boy is there some great stuff in the background.  Whether you’ve seen it dozens of times like I have or if this is the first time you’ve ever heard of it, do yourself a favor and watch the backup dancers during the Mandy routine.  It’s solid gold.

For the ones that somehow aren’t familiar with this Christmas gem, White Christmas is the story of army buddies Bob Wallace (Bing Crosby) and Phil Davis (Danny Kaye) who team up after WWII to become a “boffo” song and dance act.  Doing a favor for an old pal from the Army, they meet the Haynes sisters, Betty (Rosemary Clooney) and Judy (Vera-Ellen), another song and dance duo.  Phil, scheming to get Bob a wife and kids, and therefore some time away from the show biz grind for himself, conspires with Judy, looking for some freedom from Betty, to get Bob and Betty together.  The four travel to Vermont for a little R&R, where they run into Bob and Phil’s old commander, General Waverly (Dean Jagger), who now runs an inn.  Times are tough for the General (who prefers not to be called general, but everyone calls him that anyway).  The lack of snow has been bad for business and the inn housekeeper Emma (Mary Wickes) let’s Bob and Phil in on the secret that the General is in over his head.  Bob and Phil, look to their show business sway to find a way to save the inn and show the General he hasn’t been forgotten.

Song and dance hijinx ensue.  Also, occasional cross-dressing.

Like Holiday Inn, White Christmas has tremendous music penned by Irving Berlin, including of course the eponymous title track.  In a similar fashion, it centers around show biz folks, so most of the song and dance numbers appear like natural performances or rehearsals, not just people randomly bursting into elaborate musical numbers on the street.  There are exceptions, most notably The Best Things Happen While You’re Dancing number.  The silliness in which that particular routine ends and abruptly returns to reality only adds to the movie’s charm.  Oh, and this chestnut.

Lovely as it is corny.  I can’t get enough of it.

If you’re the kind of person that enjoys musicals, then you will love White Christmas.  If you’re not that person, you will probably still enjoy it.  It’s a good story on it’s own and Bing and company are impossible not to love.  It’s a funny and sweet movie, and you might just get a little misty at the ending.

If you’re a White Christmas veteran but have never taken the time to appreciate all that’s happening on the margins, do yourself a favor this year and keep an eye on the scenery.  It’s more than just spotting the miscues and continuity mistakes.  There is actually a lot going on outside the main action that  will enhance your viewing experience.

A few clues to help you out:

• Watch modest Bing in the dressing room after Blue Skies
• The aforementioned backup dancers during Mandy
• Watch the coffee pot in the Haynes sister’s dressing room
• Bing’s wardrobe in the Army hospital tent

There’s just a few to get you started.

Not only is White Christmas one of my favorite Christmas movies, it’s one of my favorite movies period.

Top 10 Christmas Movies #3: A Christmas Story

Do you remember that one Christmas gift you wanted more than any other? Maybe it was a bike or a Cabbage Patch Kid. Depending on when you grew up it might have been a video game system (Atari, Nintendo, Playstation...) or an Erector Set.  The specific gifts may differ from person to person and time to time but the dream is the same. We all went to bed on Christmas Eve hoping the morning would bring us joy tied up with ribbon.

A Christmas Story taps into this universal longing with protagonist Ralphie's quest to get a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model BB gun for Christmas. He seems to be thwarted at every turn. Whether it's his mother, his teacher or even Santa Claus himself he always hears the same refrain, "You'll shoot your eye out". Sprinkled throughout his pursuit are views into his everyday life.  We get to watch as Ralphie and his friends try to survive encounters with the school bully. We meet his parents (in particular The Old Man). We even get a glimpse into his childhood fantasies. These looks provide some classic moments: Flick and the frozen flag pole, the major award, The Santa Slide, the bunny suit just to name just a few.

All of this leads to Christmas morning. After all the gifts appear to be opened and the Red Ryder is nowhere to be found, Ralphie has one last surprise.

This is my favorite scene in the entire movie. Darren McGavin (The Old Man) deserved an Oscar nomination for this scene alone. He captures perfectly that as great as it is to finally get that gift you have been wishing for it's even better as a parent to be able to give your child exactly what they wanted for Christmas.

A Christmas Story is set in Hammond, Indiana during  the post WWII 1940's, It is a period piece that perfectly presents its era yet it ties into themes that audiences from any generation can relate to. The result is that whether you are a Baby Boomer, Gen X, Gen Y, or even a dreaded Millennial you walk away from this movie with a sense of nostalgia.

Top 10 Christmas Movies #4: Home Alone

Here is Andy Bauer's thoughts on our #4 movie.

As a 13-year old, I saw Home Alone in the theater when it was released in 1990.  For reasons explained elsewhere, I did not go to the movies much as a kid, and persuading my mother to let me see the hottest new movie amongst my demographic in the theater was something of a coup.

Some time later, a family member informed my mother, who still had not seen Home Alone, about the bad attitude Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) has toward his family and how disrespectfully he speaks to his mother (Catherine O’Hara).  Mom pointed this out to me, as if I had been keeping it a secret from her.  I assured her I knew Kevin’s attitude was not acceptable, as I probably rolled my eyes while she wasn’t looking.

A parent myself now, I can of course understand a little better Mom’s concerns about how a Hollywood movie might influence her child.  But, Kevin’s terrible attitude is of course central to the plot of Home Alone (and I’m happy to say Mom has since seen it and, by appearances, seemed to enjoy it).

When the movie opens, we find the McCallister house a-bustle with activity, as the family and extended family prepare to leave for France the next morning.  Eight year-old Kevin is fed up with all the relatives and the lack of enough plain cheese pizza.  In his defense, his siblings and cousins do treat him cruelly, insulting him in French, calling him a disease, and eating all the aforementioned cheese pizza on purpose.  This last offense breaks the camels back and Kevin flips out, causing a scene in the crowded kitchen which results in some misplaced travel documents.  Only adding to his disdain for his own family, Uncle Frank spews a sneering invective in one of the greatest insults in movie history ever leveled at an eight year-old:

Somewhat understandably, yet completely inappropriately, Kevin declares he wishes he didn’t have a family.  Hurt, his mother hopes he doesn’t mean it and sends him off to bed in the attic.

When he awakes the next morning to find the family gone he thinks his wish made his family disappear (in their rush to leave for France, they just forgot him).  At first, it’s a dream come true and he revels in it.  Enter the Wet Bandits (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern), a couple of burglars who have had their eyes set on the McCallister house, the “silver tuna”, since they started working the neighborhood.  As the days go by and Christmas Day draws nearer, Kevin defends his house from the criminals, conquers his fears, and realizes he misses his family and loves them after all.

The final John Hughes movie on our list, in Home Alone Hughes again reminds us that while family can drive us nuts, when it comes down to it, it’s what really matters.  There are great performances by Culkin, Pesci, and O’hara.  The late, great John Candy has a fairly minor, but scene stealing role as Gus Polinski, the Polka King of the Midwest, who helps O’hara get home to Kevin.

For us 90’s kids, Home Alone is a Christmas classic, but I wonder if today’s kids have realized that the whole madcap scenario could have been solved rather easily since the advent of cell phones.  My kids haven’t clued in on that yet, but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time.  For it’s time, the movie does a pretty good job of realistically thwarting all of the family’s attempts to contact Kevin from France, though I would not give their communities police department high marks for diligence.  One unanswered knock on the door and the officer assumes the abandoned eight year-old is fine?  Okay.

Of course, you can’t talk about Home Alone without bringing up the funhouse of horrors Kevin transform his house into when the Wet Bandits make their final assault.  Irons to the face, blowtorches to the head, and broken glass to the feet are just a few of the booby traps Kevin sadistically dreams up and employs.  I recently read an article that documented all the injuries Pesci and Stern’s characters would have suffered in real life.  It’s a Christmas miracle they survived.

Home Alone is a full of slapstick fun and a lot of heart.  Good performances, a great–and Oscar nominated–soundtrack from John Williams, a ton of quotable lines and memorable scenes also help to make it #4 on our list.  Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.